did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
