discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
