I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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