In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The adults are the big ones right?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
