Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Watching her eat just hurts me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
