there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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