Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
