Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
