We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
