She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
