Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
