Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
