I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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