like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
