If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
