So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
