oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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