Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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