Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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