i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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