They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
