Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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