Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
