I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
