Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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