Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
