that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
