I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
