two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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