Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
