Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
