I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
