So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
