Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf