Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass

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  (618): The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass http://tfl.nu/wmly
  Replies (412) Good night (26384) Bad night (3605)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup

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  (678): So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup http://tfl.nu/agqr
  Replies (88) Good night (4611) Bad night (1064)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.

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  (678): I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts. http://tfl.nu/4sqd
  Replies (95) Good night (21431) Bad night (1462)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode

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  (610): I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode http://tfl.nu/uv7a
  Replies (29) Good night (7146) Bad night (916)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh

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  (248): I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh http://tfl.nu/l3fg
  Replies (10) Good night (1253) Bad night (3511)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing

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  (303): So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing http://tfl.nu/363h
  Replies (22) Good night (1404) Bad night (4704)
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  (646): View more from New York

  you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor

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  (646): you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor http://tfl.nu/zdss
  Replies (3) Good night (1435) Bad night (998)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"

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  (+27): Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party" http://tfl.nu/3xpc
  Replies (10) Good night (1366) Bad night (2238)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

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  (979): Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/p1v5
  Replies (3) Good night (1728) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.

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  (914): Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs. http://tfl.nu/123h
  Replies (12) Good night (1110) Bad night (551)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?

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  (817): How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf? http://tfl.nu/6kzv
  Replies (6) Good night (1333) Bad night (533)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.

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  (509): Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs. http://tfl.nu/0hn1
  Replies (6) Good night (852) Bad night (502)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable

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  (617): I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable http://tfl.nu/uhd1
  Replies (8) Good night (1845) Bad night (632)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Wait does semen show up on blood tests?

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  (832): Wait does semen show up on blood tests? http://tfl.nu/pugn
  Replies (25) Good night (520) Bad night (1168)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.

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  (970): Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/2i7x
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (294)

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