Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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(540): View more from Virginia

Whore.

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I was being facetious

(540): View more from Virginia

Don't try to hide behind big words.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(802): View more from Vermont

I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.

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(765): View more from Indiana

let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples

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(540): View more from Virginia

BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN

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