Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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