Texts From Last Night

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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.

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  (803): so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points. http://tfl.nu/u3st
  Replies (51) Good night (5150) Bad night (944)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.

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  (908): did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp. http://tfl.nu/a6do
  Replies (41) Good night (21227) Bad night (1122)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke

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  (469): She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke http://tfl.nu/g6cx
  Replies (15) Good night (897) Bad night (4542)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes

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  (902): You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes http://tfl.nu/flaw
  Replies (26) Good night (1940) Bad night (4202)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.

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  (+44): It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice. http://tfl.nu/unne
  Replies (7) Good night (3448) Bad night (982)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again

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  (904): Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again http://tfl.nu/3izm
  Replies (7) Good night (2740) Bad night (955)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found

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  (405): I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found http://tfl.nu/l324
  Replies (7) Good night (2718) Bad night (1220)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"

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  (732): yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing" http://tfl.nu/qoaq
  Replies (9) Good night (4307) Bad night (922)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".

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  (404): Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant". http://tfl.nu/1jgx
  Replies (9) Good night (1338) Bad night (2798)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.

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  (+61): Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke. http://tfl.nu/ckis
  Replies (2) Good night (755) Bad night (528)
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  (845): View more from New York

  He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought

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  (845): He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought http://tfl.nu/z4p7
  Replies (7) Good night (2776) Bad night (509)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.

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  (952): So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child. http://tfl.nu/9pky
  Replies (0) Good night (754) Bad night (210)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  "what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.

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  (330): "what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that. http://tfl.nu/c3qo
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (253)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight

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  (519): I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight http://tfl.nu/pto6
  Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (183)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens

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  (+61): So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens http://tfl.nu/ihud
  Replies (3) Good night (475) Bad night (476)

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