We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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