You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
