we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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