my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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