well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
