the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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