ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
