we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Randomize
