My room smells like vodka and shame
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
