I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
