Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
porn star boner night. come get it.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
