AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
