so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
