my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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