yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize