shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
