My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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