He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
