Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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