Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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