remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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