Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
