Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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