I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
