she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
