i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize