Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It's never too late to be topless.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
