rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
