So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
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So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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