how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
