i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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